"What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
The title of this week’s issue is “How to Fall In Love”. This is not to be confused with “How To Love” the iconic Lil Wayne song.
Oh yeah, these have titles now for the website!
What is love?
(Venmo me $1 if you said, “Baby don’t hurt me.” in your head. @seth-winton)
We ask a lot of questions here at the Daily Dispatch. This is one of the most important questions we’ve asked yet.
Another important question, “Are you tired of struggling to find the best candidate for your position?” Well, that is where this week’s sponsor Zip Recruiter comes in. Zip Recruiter has helped dozens of companies find the perfect candidate. We’ve used Zip Recruiter to find new interns every week! They keep blocking me because I fire everyone, but if you make a new gmail account you can sign up again.
Zip Recruiter: As easy as making a gmail account.
Sorry, everyone. Sellout Seth had to pop in and help keep the lights on at the Daily Dispatch offices. You know, I didn’t always want to be a world-renowned newsletter writer begging for sponsors. In fact, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” changed many times over my life. If you had asked me in first grade, I would have said a clown, because clowns make people happy and make them laugh. If you had asked me in second grade, I would have said an electrical engineer because my buddy Brady and I were going to start an engineering firm together called “BS Engineering”. I’ve wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an NBA player, a football coach, a stand up comedian, and an entrepreneur. I’ve even wanted to be someone who could spell “entrepreneur” without spell check. Shoot for the moon kids, because even if you miss, you might land among the stars. For me, that is being able to spell “restaurant” without spell check. Nailed it again.
What I’ve wanted to do for a career has changed many times over my life. If you had asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up, but don’t answer with any job.” I would have given you an answer that remained constant forever. I have always wanted to be a husband and a father.
I’ve been a groomsman or a best man a total of 9 times (I was a bridesman one of those). I’ve been a wedding DJ over 10 times. I’m semi-retired from that now. Also, Brenden, if you’re reading this, I still have some speakers and a mic that belong to you. I’ll bring those to you soon. This is not a 27 Dresses situation (never seen the movie so I hope that is the correct reference). I love love.
When I was in second grade, I asked my parents if I could buy a ring for Sydney, my crush. I was madly in love with her. That was until a few weeks later when she ran against me for class president. How dare she? The proposal was off. I promised, during my campaign, to try and get extra recess and won. I also may have won because Brady, my aforementioned future business partner and best friend at the time, was in charge of counting the votes. Extra recess was never given. I was a strong campaigner but an ineffective president.
The future 2nd grade class president hours before his campaign speech
I’ve always been a romantic. Growing up, my dad would drive with his left hand and hold my mom’s hand with his right. When I got my driver’s license, I used to practice driving left handed so I could one day hold my wife’s hand and drive confidently and expertly. For those of you who read Issue 8, this will come as no surprise. The guy who put his life into Excel to try and analytically improve as a person is also the kind of guy who practices sweet gestures until they are perfect. I even planned my first kiss. When I was in 7th grade, I had my first serious girlfriend. Our plan was to sneak out of the lunch room at set times (offset by a few minutes so nobody would suspect a thing) and meet in the band hallway. The plan went perfectly. We had our first kiss. The sparks wouldn’t have lit up a Christmas tree bulb, but I was in love again. That was until I decided I didn’t want to be tied down anymore. I was in 7th grade. I was a man. I had the whole world in front of me.
I’m a writer. You know this. You are reading my newsletter. At the time, though, I was all potential. I put pen to paper and let the words flow. What followed was a beautifully written break up letter. I was ending things with my first kiss. I put the note in her locker, set my sights on the metaphorical horizons (literal science class), and knew we’d both be better for this. I’m a writer. You know this. What you may not know is I am terrible at directions and all things geography. My wife (spoiler alert for this story) makes fun of me often for using a GPS in a city I’ve lived in for nearly a decade. What does this have to do with anything? I wasn’t driving a car in 7th grade. However, I was navigating hallways and lockers. I broke up with the wrong person. The note was delivered to the wrong locker. Relationship not over. Status: ongoing.
We continued to “date” for a short time longer until she broke up with me via phone call. I was heartbroken. Sure, I had recently tried to break up with her, but now being the one dumped, I couldn’t take it. No matter how many Billy Currington lyrics I sent her, there was no getting her back. I was a man alone in this big scary world.
Let’s pause here for a moment. This may be relatable. It’s young love. It’s kids trying to figure out life. However, this issue is titled, “How to fall in love”. You aren’t learning anything. It’s because love isn’t prescriptive. What works for some doesn’t work for others. Love doesn’t follow a script, it can’t be solved with Excel, it can’t be taught in YouTube videos and it certainly can’t be learned in a newsletter written by me. If love followed a formula, I would have married the girl I dated in college. We met in a campus ministry, dated for two and a half years. It was a typical story. We eventually broke up because I knew she wasn’t “the one”. I didn’t even believe in the concept of “the one”, but I knew it wasn’t her. There wasn’t anything distinctly wrong either, but that’s how love works. I made a life altering decision for two people based on a feeling and it was the right choice. She married someone a couple of years later and seems incredibly happy.
If “How To Fall In Love” was a real thing, I would have met my wife Niki one of the many many times our paths crossed in the years preceding our first official meet. Her roommate when she first moved to Chattanooga was someone I knew my whole childhood. She met my mom in a hospital years before meeting me. I was told 6 months before meeting her that I should, “meet this girl I work with because you two would be great together” referring to Niki. I responded, “No thanks, I don’t get set up.” If “How To Fall In Love” was a real thing, I wouldn’t have screenshotted a picture of us becoming connections on LinkedIn and sent it to her on GroupMe to finally get her phone number. I can tell you right now, no romcom writer would pitch that. It’s ridiculous, but it worked.
If you had said to me, “When you know, you know” before December 2019, I would have judged you. I would have thought you were weak minded and emotional. You, in my eyes, were the kind of person who didn’t think things through. I mean, you can date someone for 2 and a half years and not know, so clearly love is just a leap of faith. Then I walked into a small group Bible study and my life changed. Here is an actual “How To Fall In Love” piece of advice; if you walk into a small group Bible study and meet a beautiful woman who you feel completely drawn to, go back. I didn’t. I was dumb. I was the same idiot who put break up letters in the wrong locker, just grown up and driving left handed with nobody in the passenger seat.
I believe in God. I don’t know if you do or not, but I do. I’m an incredibly decisive and often stubborn person. When I make up my mind on something, I tend to pride myself on not changing it. I believe God grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me back. Every excuse I made, someone in my life countered and I ended up attending that small group. Next thing I know, I’m screenshotting LinkedIn connection notifications in a desperate attempt to flirt with a girl.
Niki wanted me to point out the time of day I sent the first message…
Our first date was in early December 2019. I showed up over 30 minutes early because I was so excited. I didn’t want to look like a crazy person, so I just drove in circles around the neighborhood and surrounding area until it was time to pick her up. Smoooooooooth. A few days later, we were walking out of church at the same time. I said, “Lunch?” We ended up going to Cracker Barrel. I drove her back to drop her off at her car. We were in the middle of a conversation, so she didn’t immediately get out. 5 hours later, we were still talking. We talked so long my gas light came on. Not a lie. On the drive home, I called the friend who had originally tried to set us up and said, “I don’t know what the future holds, but we’re going to at least date for a while.”
I’m typing this sentence from our living room. In front of me, a tv is mounted on a wall. I’m not bragging. A lot of people have tvs. I researched tv brands and models for 6 months before buying it. I drove home in a car I bought last May. I researched (and made spreadsheets) for a year and a half before deciding which car to get. I researched another year before actually buying it. I say all this to say, I’m not impulsive. I’m logical, I analyze and evaluate. However…
When you know, you know.
4 months after our first date, I proposed.
If “How To Fall In Love” was a real thing, I would have had a job when I proposed. I didn’t. I had recently been laid off. (4 months after December 2019 is April 2020 aka the beginning of Covid). I had a plan. Both of our families were going to be in town in May to meet one another. I was going to propose then. The world shut down, that weekend was canceled, I couldn’t wait. And why should I have waited? We already had a venue and wedding date. That’s right “How To Fall In Love” readers, we booked a venue a couple weeks before getting engaged. I NEVER thought I’d do that. PEMDAS order of operations says that is backwards (Propose & Eventually Make Decision About Setting). Unlike running for class president in second grade, this time I was a bad campaigner. No job, the world is in a hiring freeze, been dating for 4 months, and there was a pandemic that was canceling weddings.
A year later we got married. It was a perfect day.
I’m not a super emotional person. My mom said, before our wedding, she had only seen me cry a handful of times in my life. When those doors opened and Niki walked down the aisle… When I tell you I literally wept tears of joy…
I love love. I’ve always loved love. I didn’t begin to know how much love I could love with until I met Niki.
What was the point of all this? (Is it bad that this question is asked almost every week?) This wasn’t just to brag about marrying my best friend. I wrote this because this week is an incredibly important week. Not only is it Issue 10, but it is the week the website launches. This means Issue 10 is the issue most of you will read first. Unfortunately, I also had less free time this week to work on writing than any other week so far. This is not a venn diagram you want to find yourself in the middle of: needs to be high quality but not much time to spend on it. So, I went to the crossroads of what I know and what I’m passionate about. Something I can write about effortlessly.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I want to be a better husband than I am today. I want to be a father to a lot of kids with Niki because the more of her there is in the world, the better the world will be. I want to grow up and old with the love of my life and be an example to everyone I meet of “How To Fall In Love.”
Hand Selected Articles From Me To You
New readers, every issue is different. We have investigated McDonald’s menu items. We have experimented with ChatGPT and ai. We have discussed logic and written short works of fiction. Last week, we reinvented sports. Who knows what next week holds? We might collaboratively create a board game. We could analyze brilliant marketing campaigns throughout history. We could blind taste test a variety of drinks and rank them. Who knows? All I know is it will be fun, semi-satirical, and somewhat informative.
To those who have been along for the ride, thank you. Making this website is a huge milestone. I have some big plans. This is just the beginning. Please please please share this with anyone and everyone. If you’ve enjoyed it, share it to spread the love. If you’ve hated it, share it in hopes your enemy will discover it and suffer the same torment of reading an unnecessarily long newsletter.
Regardless of the reason why, I thank you for reading. As always:
All my love,
Seth Winton
