“This I want to believe implicitly: Man was born for love and revolution.”
In issue 4, one of the Hand Selected Articles From Me To You was about Paddy Roy Bates, the man who started the smallest country in the world. My summary was as follows: “It’s good to have goals, to have people to look up to. Paddy Roy Bates is one of those people for me. The man claimed a small area as his own and declared it a country. He started a pirate radio station, declared independence after his son shot at the British Navy, defended the country against a coup, and issued currency, passports, and stamps. This must have been in the 1600s right? Nope. He started in the late 1960s and the supposed smallest country in the world is still active. Short article but amazing read.”
I legitimately have not forgotten that article since reading it.
I have some ideas for future issues that will require pre planning by me and involvement from you all. I have some ideas that logistically couldn’t be done this week. What remains is me sitting down and staring into space on a Tuesday wondering what this week’s issue will be about. Then it hits me. I remember a message I received regarding last week’s issue.
This combined with the aforementioned article made me think, what would it look like if I started my own country? Keep in mind, I just said some ideas for future issues were too lofty to write this week. Apparently, my hubris did not think the creation of a country fit the category of “too lofty”.
Part of what made this undertaking less lofty is the fact I am not sending out a survey to the group as I have in the past to decide what the country will look like. No, you know what, I’m not sorry (this is in reference to the fact I typed, “I’m sorry” then deleted it.) This will not be a dictatorship, but I will be solely responsible for creating the framework.
In his book, “How To Start Your Own Country”, Erwin Strauss says, “When people begin to dream about starting a new country, usually one of the first things they think about is how the country is going to be structured internally.”
This is where I spent my first 24 hours pondering.
The first types of internal structures that come to mind are: Monarchy, Republican forms of government following in the footsteps of Washington and Jefferson and drawing heavily on existing documents like the U.S. Constitution, or simpler visions based on fundamental and enduring values harkening back to the days of Athens or early Rome, where all citizens conferred to make the common decisions by consensus.
I believe honesty is one of the most important aspects of leadership. Honestly, this was not as fun to think about as some other aspects of country creation so I’m going to skip writing about it for now and get back to it later.
Let’s start with something more fun. Where will it be? I immediately got on privateislandsonline.com and started searching. I selected Rangyai Island for us. Located just east of the island of Phuket, an island popular with tourists and estate owners, Rangyai is the largest island currently available for sale in the region. The island is close to both Phuket and Coconut Island, both of which are home to numerous resorts, and are very popular with tourists. At 110 acres in size, the island comes complete with fresh water, electric generator, and mobile signal. The island is located only 20 minutes from Phuket International Airport and just 10 minutes by boat from the nearest town. Much like its neighbor, Phuket, Rangyai Island is adorned by beautiful white sand beaches and lush tropical forests. In addition, given its advantageous location between the islands of Phuket, Krabi, and Phangna, the island benefits from incredible 360-views.
The price tag on this bad boy is pretty high. $160,000,000. First thought was gofundme, of course. Then about halfway through my application to pitch my new country on Shark Tank, I had the thought, does a country have to occupy land?
*NOTE*
Originally, starting here, I went on a 1,000+ word rant about an idea called a “Network State” as popularized by Balaji Srinivasan. It was this whole idea that the world is changing and, hypothetically, a nation could be created and gain diplomatic recognition entirely online. When I wrote this, I tried to frame it as removing our barrier of entry (land acquisition) into creating a country. I pitched it as the Daily Dispatch being the first online country to gain diplomatic recognition. To be honest, it was a thinly veiled attempt to impress you all. I even cited a conflict in the 1800’s called 54-40 or Fight. What a tool.
I wanted to show off my ability to understand and apply complex ideas. I skimmed two books on country creation, the aforementioned “How To Start Your Own Country” by Erwin Strauss and “The Network State” by Balaji Srinivasan. But honestly, do you come here for a book report or to be entertained?
Hold on to that answer and we will discuss after this short break to hear a word from our sponsors.
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I’m sure most of you answered “to be entertained” to the question posed before the ad break. It’s Friday morning afterall. Learning time is done. It’s basically the freakin’ weekend! TGIF BABY!
Let’s get back to the fun parts of country creation. One of the things I thought about first was, “Can my new country compete in the Olympics?”
Occam’s Razor, put simply, states: “The simplest solution is almost always best.” That said, my brain didn’t immediately go to the simplest answer when pursuing this question. I first began to recall examples of when new countries formed. I thought about the split from Czechoslovakia to the Czech Republic and Slovakia. This occurred in 1993 and the Winter Olympics held in 1994 featured competitors representing each of the new countries. I wondered if, in this instance, could competitors select which of the two countries they preferred? The first few competitors I investigated were born in cities that were located in the new country they represented. This was until I discovered Daniel Krčmář who competed in the biathlon for Slovakia, despite being born in Ústí nad Orlicí which now is a city in the Czech Republic.
Fascinated, I consulted my global affairs consultant (intern). I just knew this question would stump him. He looked me in the eye and said, “You can compete for any country of which you are a citizen.” Not only did he immediately find the simplest solution I couldn’t find, but he used the phrase “of which” while answering. A truly humiliating moment for me.
On the bright side, we can begin to form our Olympic team once we have our country! I’ve watched enough college sports to understand the value of recruiting. That said, if you are interested, our new country will be hiring a full time Olympic recruiter. If you are a world class athlete, I am offering free citizenship if you can make the Olympics. Willing to discuss NIL deals as well.
Next we need to pick a national anthem. I’m too lazy to write one, so we are going to choose a song that is already written. Our national anthem will be “Love Yourz” by J. Cole. The more I think about it, it does complicate things to have a national anthem with words I won’t say, but I like the spirit of the song. If someone out there can write us a national anthem with a similar theme, I won’t make you pay the citizenship application fee.
Here’s an important question I’m embarrassed to admit I just thought of, “Why do I want to start a country?” I’ve said for years I would love to move to a small town with a bunch of my friends and take over. Be mayor, have a friend who is the judge, have a friend who is the police captain, have a friend over the main bank, etc. Again, why? I think the answer lies somewhere between control and trust. Sure you could argue I’m power hungry, but I believe, more accurately, I trust my decision making skills and the thoughts and processes of the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with.
Perhaps some of you will hold office in the new country. I mean, the fact you are reading this shows good judgment and a strong sense of curiosity.
Let’s talk about law enforcement. Murder is still illegal. Not going to argue with you about that. Driving: this is where we are going to focus for a bit. Police will be thoroughly vetted for honesty and humility. I don’t want hypocrites nor power hungry people. Speeding will be a blurry line. If it is reckless and unsafe, pull them over. However, if a police officer pulls someone over and gives them a ticket for going like 4 miles per hour over the speed limit when nobody is around, the police officer will have to pay double the fine they wrote the ticket for. That’s the law. Cops must record everything they do and my friend Colter, our nation’s judge, will decide if the cop was being cool or not. Note: Colter doesn’t speed.
$250 fine if you don’t return your shopping cart. The Cart Narcs guy from YouTube gets to become a citizen of our country without having to pay the citizen application fee. He’s earned it. In fact, if you have a known history of not returning your shopping cart (Meier), you have to pay triple the citizen application fee. This is a selfless nation, and that kind of behavior and energy is not welcomed.
All banks are open 7 AM-8 PM. Get outta here with that closing at 5 PM nonsense.
Alternatives to standardized testing will be used in conjunction with standardized testing in our nation’s schools. I was one of those kids who was good at standardized testing and was a jerk about it. When people used to say they were bad test takers, I used to think, “Oh, so you’re bad at that thing where we figure out what you know?” The ironic thing is I used the wrong “You’re” when I first typed that sentence. I typed “Your”. The other thing is, I met people who were clearly very smart, but their brains didn’t work in such a way where standardized testing accurately showed their grasp of a topic.
One thing that frustrates me with politics is when people say, “someone should do something about…” or “We need to change this or that” but offer no solutions. That will not be us. One of the alternatives to standardized testing we will implement is secret testing. During class discussions or even group activities, if a student shows a grasp of the topic, and answers questions correctly while not thinking they are being tested, it will count towards their test grade. This will, admittedly, be more work for teachers to keep up with, but worth it for students. Also, we are getting rid of observations and will trust that teachers with education degrees know what they are talking about.
Social workers get paid double what they are making now. That is a law. Doctors have to be transparent with their charges before any visit or operation. People who flip houses have to disclose how much money they put into repairs. They can list the house for whatever they want, but people will not pay $100,000 more than what was paid for the house if all you did was throw some paint and new light fixtures on it.
All the changes to sports we made in Issue 9 will be applicable in our new country.
Admin fees and processing fees will not be charged when buying things online. Sorry to anyone who sells stuff online. I’m tired of trying to buy tickets to sporting events only to pay double the price of the ticket once all fees are added. We aren’t doing that in our new country.
People who try to be funny by saying, “go sportsball” or things like that when at a sporting event will be banned from watching Marvel movies for a year. I’m assuming those go hand in hand.
THERE WILL BE NO PAID PARKING LOTS. PARKING IS FREE. If you previously worked as a parking attendant and gave out parking tickets, you are as bad as Meier and the others who leave shopping carts out and will also have to pay triple the citizenship application fee.
All laws created so far are reasonable, fair, and logical. These are not based on emotion nor my past experiences. If you question that, you will be jailed. I am not a dictator.
While I am taking responsibility for the laws and general government of our new country, I do need help naming it and creating a flag. Please utilize the comment section or email me at todaysdailydispatch@gmail.com with ideas. This is going to be an ongoing document. We will eventually add a section for the new country on our website. Just for reading this to the end, you get 15% off your citizenship application fee (I haven’t decided the cost of that yet.) Use code “NewCountryNewMe”.
Thank you all for reading. Our declaration of independence will be written and sent out for signing soon.
Hand Selected Articles From Me To You
A revolution is among us. “A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason.” -Thomas Paine. This is the case with paying for parking and I will no longer stand idly by.
All My Love,
Seth Winton
