“I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like.”
Subscribers who get the weekly emails along with the newsletter (highly recommended) will know that last week’s email started with, “I live a life of luxury.” I really harped on the fact that the subscribers have been good to me. After rereading that email, I realized how pompous I sounded. I wrote that sitting in my ivory tower, out of touch with the world. That changes this week. No tower, no high horse. I’m on the ground level. Sitting here on the beach, I am as relatable as ever. As you read this, I am toasted, rather than kissed, by the sun. I am hungry as I have not eaten anything since my lobster and crab cakes last night. I don’t have the luxury of an air conditioned office to sit in until 5 today. My only relief from the heat is the breeze off the ocean. I am humbled.
Speaking of being just one of the guys, a man of the people, this week’s issue of the Daily Dispatch is brought to you by Genesis Motor LLC. Too good for a Hyundai but not conceited enough for a BMW? Buy a Genesis. Do you want to play pretend rich and trick some people into thinking you drive a Bentley? Genesis is here for you. Are you the kind of person to wear a team branded polo to a college football game? Park your Genesis in the parking garage king, maybe one day you can afford those box seats. Genesis; we’re for the upper middle.
The advertisements are getting out of hand. I have a buddy who recently traded an old car for a luxury watch. He has not donated a single dollar to support our local newsletter. If any of you have extra cars laying around, I recommend you follow a different path. Sell the car, donate to the Daily Dispatch. Who knows? It might just save a life. The more of you that give me your hard earned money, the less ads you will have to read. Now onto the content you all crave.
We are all curators now. We take in all sorts of content, filter it through our judgments, and send only the best to our friends to enjoy. Friend groups are their own algorithms curating content for each other. As a result, we are judged by what we like. Being the person who sends the funniest, most interesting, the useful TikToks, Instagram videos, or memes gains you social status. I first began noticing this years ago when people claimed to like certain artists “before they were big”. For example, I knew The Godfather was going to be an instant classic from the first time I saw it. Sure, I saw it 40 years after it came out, but I was still right…
Recently, this concept has blown up on TikTok as people have gained huge followings recommending “Amazon finds”, new music, books, or fashion trends. If you like good stuff, people like you. Not only do we like people who like good stuff, but we like people to like what we like. Have you ever shown someone a video and not gotten the reaction you were hoping for? Devastating.
I went to McKay’s the other day. Not a sponsor, but I do frequent that establishment. Yes, I do occasionally read for pleasure and leisure which means, if you don’t, I am better than you. I don’t make the rules, I just use them to my advantage. If you read more than me, you’re a nerd. If you read less than me, you need to get your life together. It’s just the truth. Sorry. When I was at McKay’s I bought a book. In that book I found the following note. The note is as follows:
December 12, 2019
Megha,
For Christmas I wanted to give you something special, & I can’t think of anything more special to me than this book. I’ve brought it on almost every trip abroad, the last being Japan during which I made the highlights you now see in this book. I knew it would probably be the last time I read this copy, so I wanted to enjoy it while I could.
Take this on some more adventures for me, will you?
-Sarah T.
My first thought was how sad this ended up in McKay’s. Come on Megha, Sarah T. gave you a mission. My second thought was pride that I am now taking this copy to Charleston and Panama City this week. My third thought, and the thought that led to this week’s issue was wondering why we care so much about others liking what we like. I don’t say this to downplay Sarah T’s gift, but rather I wonder because I’ve found the same truth in my own life. There have been multiple books that moved me given to friends. I have had people over to watch movies that inspired me. I share with you almost every week articles I find interesting. I’ve been on the receiving end and read some of your less moving books, watched your less inspirational movies, and even skimmed your less interesting articles. Because I care.
We like people who like what we like. People bond over liking the same stuff. People will become best friends because they like mediocre shows like the Office, bad teams like the Cowboys, or lame bands like the 1975. Have you ever liked something? If so, there’s probably a reddit community for you. I once bonded with a random guy at a bar because we both enjoyed the wit of Winston Churchill.
I like people who are passionate about what they like. I can listen to passionate people talk about their interests for hours. I have a good friend who likes Pokemon cards and video games. Neither is a passion of mine, but I love hearing him talk about them. I just like when people like what they like and talk about it. To quote Issue 12 of the Daily Dispatch titled “One in a Million (In a World of Eight Billion)”:
“It seems a lot of people pick out a personality kit and click “Apply all”. For example, when the show New Girl was popular, I met so many girls who were Jess for like a year. There is a reason there are so many jokes about finance bros or guys who are “grind mentality” type dudes on LinkedIn. If you’ve met one, you’ve met them all. So many times I’ll meet a guy or a girl and think, “I’ve met you before, but in someone else’s body.” Not in like a reincarnation type of way, but in a selected the same personality type of way.
I like people who are themselves. I like people who are one of a kind and unique. Unique doesn’t necessarily mean you have different interests than anyone else as led to the hipster movement of the 2010’s where thousands of people had the same “weird” and “unique” interests. I just mean I like people who are genuinely themselves and can’t be described in one sentence.”
I am not alone in this. My friend Andrew started a monthly magazine for our friend group in which we write about what we are interested in or what we are feeling. It is so fun to see the things our friends are passionate about. I have even gained new interests by reading the interests of my friends.
Sarah T., if you’re reading this, I’m sorry Megha didn’t appreciate your gift the way you wanted her to and instead gave it to McKays. Megha, I don’t judge you. There is a lot of pressure to like something some you care about likes when they give it to you. I had what I thought was a good idea a while back of making a collaborative playlist with all the Dispatchers. I was upset when people didn’t like the idea I liked. I even suggested the following week that maybe people were scared to add to the playlist for a reason similar to what we are discussing here; what if people don’t like the music I like? I say, “Who cares?” But that’s just me, a laid back, laissez faire guy who is as approachable as can be.
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Things have improved on the ping pong table. I am not as good as I was downstairs though. I think it has something to do with the elevation. Speaking of ping pong and me taking it too seriously, and in reference to this week’s issue, I want to quote a passage from The Catcher in the Rye which I am currently trying to finish before starting Sarah T.’s book.
“It was really nice sightseeing, if you know what I mean. In a way, it was sort of depressing, too, because you kept wondering what the hell would happen to all of them. When they got out of school and college, I mean. You figured most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddam cars. Guys that get sore and childish as hell if you beat them at golf, or even just some stupid game like ping-pong. Guys that are very mean. Guys that never read books. Guys that are very boring–But I have to be careful about that. I mean about calling certain guys bores. I don’t understand boring guys. I really don’t. When I was at Elkton Hills, I roomed for about two months with this boy, Harris Mackim. He was very intelligent and all, but he was one of the biggest bores I ever met. He had one of these very raspy voices, and he never stopped talking, practically. He never stopped talking, and what was awful was, he never said anything you wanted to hear in the first place. But he could do one thing. The sonuvabitch could whistle better than anybody I ever heard. He’d be making his bed, or hanging up stuff in the closet–he was always hanging up stuff in the closet–it drove me crazy–and he’d be whistling while he did it, if he wasn’t talking in this raspy voice. He could even whistle classical stuff, but most of the time he just whistled jazz. He could take something very jazzy, like “Tin Roof Blues,” and whistle it so nice and easy–right while he was hanging stuff up in the closet–that it could kill you. Naturally, I never told him I thought he was a terrific whistler. I mean you don’t just go up to somebody and say, “You’re a terrific whistler.” But I roomed with him for about two whole months, even though he bored me till I was half crazy, just because he was such a terrific whistler, the best I ever heard. So I don’t know about bores. Maybe you shouldn’t feel too sorry if you see some swell girl getting married to them. They don’t hurt anybody, most of them, and maybe they’re secretly all terrific whistlers or something. Who the hell knows? Not me.“
I have really been enjoying this book. Who knows, maybe I will write a note in the cover, give it to a friend, and then find it back at McKays in a few years. But I do know that I felt called out when he mentioned guys getting mad about losing at ping pong.
Hand Selected Articles From Me To You
What are you doing down here? This is a month’s old issue! You crazy kids…. Anyways, if you are on a scavenger hunt, you are on the right track. Nearby is what you are looking for. If you’re here over 24 hours after the aforementioned scavenger hunt began… you’re too late.
All My Love,
Seth Winton
