“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
Who do I think I am? I mean, I did write an entire issue stating “I am…”, but really, the arrogance. I fully believe, deep in my heart, that people care what I think. I started a newsletter and advertised it so people can read what I think. Is it time to take a long look in the mirror? No. Welcome to part 1 of 2 of a series where I review things. I have some thoughts and opinions. You’re about to hear them.
This is not new. This is very much a chicken and egg situation. Did I start the newsletter because I have an inflated value on my viewpoint? Or has the raging success of the newsletter caused me to see my own viewpoint as more valuable? Regardless, as someone who thoroughly reads reviews of others when making decisions, I will be posting a collection of previous reviews I’ve made. This will lead us to next week where the entire issue will be devoted to a deep, thorough, scathing review at one particular service.
A little known fact about me is that I have been called, “The bad boy of Google reviews.” I am a level 5 certified local guide on Google due to the popularity and helpfulness of my reviews. That said, unsurprisingly, my reviews tend to be esoteric, abstract, and borderline delusional. This is why I was given the nickname “The bad boy of Google reviews” when I was invited to one of the local guide meetups. Before we dive in, I do feel the need to say, everything previously stated is 100% accurate.
Let’s take a trip down review memory lane as we walk ourselves to next week’s ultimate review. Starting at the beginning. I attended a rehearsal dinner for my friends Andrew and Allie 5 years ago. This was my review of the venue. My first review:
This is what kicked off my love for reviews. I thought it was silly. I thought it would be a break from the norm. That led me to my next review. As you can see, neither my writing ability nor style has changed over the last 5 years.
Skipping over a few reviews, we are still giving real reviews, but things are beginning to get a bit more theoretical. We are reviewing less of the actual place and more of the way it makes me feel.
The next review is where you begin to see the tell tell signs of a Daily Dispatch. We take one experience at McDonald’s and make a mini thesis out of it.
This over the top style is where I officially became recognized as a local guide and began to feel untouchable. This continued with a review of a local burger joint.
The next snippets you will see are the beginning and end of what was one of my longest reviews. This is where my reviewing arrogance reached an all time high.
…
I’ve written an opinion piece on the concept of routine disguised as a review of a Chop House (5 paragraphs). I used the now closed restaurant Sofa King as a mini therapy session to lament the day I was having. I gave life advice in a review of a Japanese restaurant in Sevierville, TN. I was out of control. I was drunk on power. Google had sent me multiple perks, coupons, and invitations due to my growing status as a reviewer.
You see, I was forging a path that had never been forged: rogue reviews. This is around the time I started my first newsletter. Yet, I was a young and flashy writer. I hadn’t had to earn my ever growing fame through hard work. Now I must review myself as a reviewer.
3.5 stars out of 5.
Seth Winton’s reviews, while wildly entertaining, have a habit of taking a platform designed to shine the sterilizing light of truth on establishments and twisting it to shine a spotlight on himself. Through humorous streams of consciousness ramblings or moments of pause to ponder the experiences of human existence, Seth takes the reader away from the review and focuses on the reviewer. There are benefits to this as it makes each location more intriguing than it would likely otherwise be. Ultimately, though arrogant and self gratifying, Winton seems to have carved a niche for himself in the reviewing community that is both controversial and entertaining.
I still write the occasional review. About 5 months ago I wrote a review of Bollywood Taco in Chattanooga, TN. Next week, however, will be the longest and most in depth review I have ever written. Please stay tuned for part 2.
Hand Selected Articles From Me To You
Yes. Both articles included the word “knickerbocker”. Find me another newsletter author who can
do that. While this week was humorous, next week’s newsletter has been described by early
screenings as “scathing” and “passionate”. You won’t want to miss it.
For those interested in local news, my reign of superiority has resumed on the ping pong table.
Cho’s Bros are officially back for blood this summer. Investigations of a conspiracy against this
dynamic team are still ongoing. Stay tuned.
All my love,
Seth Winton
