Issue 33: Ben Baskin and Jerry Robbins – Sweet Deception

“It betrays hubris on the part of the artist to think his medium is limiting him, and I think we all recognize this.”

Steve Albini

“Ha ha ha… here comes the funny guy.” “Let’s all laugh at the big silly clown man.” “Hey words boy, why don’t you structure some sentences in a whimsical way to make us giggle? Huh? What’s that? You’re a grown up? Nah, you’re our little jester. Dance fool dance.”

I’ve heard your words and I want you to know, I’m not a joke. I can write deep and serious think pieces that stir the hearts and minds of philosophers, skeptics, and those who have long since given up hope. While I enjoy making you smile, while your laughs bring me joy, I’ve realized the only way I’ll ever be successful, the only way I’ll ever sell enough t-shirts to retire, is if you take me and my work seriously.

If you came here for fun, if you wanted a Friday escape, think again. Ain’t no Friday goofin’© this week. This week we are going to learn. It won’t be fun fact learning, nope, this week we are doing a deep dive into the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890. 

Why this topic? Why now? This isn’t spooky? This isn’t ghosts and ghouls and all things Halloween like many wanted. If you think the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890 isn’t spooky, just wait until I tell you the story of two con men who successfully defeated it right in front of us. Two men you know well.

I was recently invited on the Tim Ferriss show where he asked me specifically about the Act and the story of two sweet men who escaped justice. Please read this excerpt from our conversation:

[Opening Scene – The Tim Ferriss Show]

Tim Ferriss (TF): Ladies and gentlemen, gather around because today we’re embarking on a journey through time, exploring a story of power, ambition, and the battle for a level playing field in the cutthroat world of business. And who better to guide us through this thrilling saga than the literary maestro himself, Seth Winston. Welcome to The Tim Ferriss Show, Seth.

Seth Winton (SW): Thank you, Tim. It’s a pleasure to be here. By the way, it’s “Winton” not “Winston”. You added an extra “S” in there. I’m not a character from New Girl.

*Both laugh hysterically

TF: My B.

SW: Totally chill my dude. Happens.

[Transition to the Main Discussion]

TF: So, let’s dive right in, Seth. The Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890, quite the tale, isn’t it?

SW: Absolutely, Tim. It’s a tale of economic empires and corporate gladiators, set against the backdrop of a transforming nation. The Sherman Act, named after Senator John Sherman, was a daring attempt to rein in the colossal corporate giants of that era.

TF: It’s like a battle of David versus Goliath, but in the world of business. Can you break down the two key sections of the act for our listeners?

SW: Certainly, mi amigo. Section one makes it crystal clear: any contract, combination, or conspiracy that restrains trade or commerce among the states is illegal. No more backroom deals or market manipulation. It was all about ensuring a level playing field for competition.


TF: And then there’s section two, which goes after those who attempt to monopolize any part of interstate commerce.

SW: *Puts hand over mic* Why would you ask me to explain the act if you were just going to straight up tell the people about Section 2? You know I love that Section. Don’t big time me Ferriss.

TF: *Nervously* But I’m sure there is more to Section 2. Tell us more, Seth.

SW: Section two was the iron fist aimed at the monopolists, the warning shot to those who thought they could rule the world without accountability. It made people realize they weren’t the only voice.

[Transition to the Modern-Day Implications]

TF: Fast forward to today, and the Sherman Act’s legacy is more relevant than ever. How does it shape the modern business world, Seth?

SW: Well, Tim, it’s a timeless narrative. We’ve seen it in action with the takedown of Standard Oil in 1911 and the epic battles against Microsoft in the late ’90s. Today, it’s the guardian of the digital age, with tech giants like Amazon, Google, Facebook, and Apple in the spotlight, under the watchful eye of the Sherman Act.

TF: So, it’s a never-ending drama where modern giants grapple in the coliseum of commerce, much like their Gilded Age predecessors.

SW: Exactly. It’s a story of colossal power, ceaseless ambition, and the unyielding pursuit of a fair and transparent marketplace. The Sherman Act is the referee ensuring everyone plays by the rules.

[Closing Thoughts]

TF: Seth, what an absolutely riveting discussion. Thank you for bringing to life the enduring significance of the Sherman Antitrust Act and how it continues to shape the business world. Why don’t you tell the listeners that fascinating story you told me off air about the two men who successfully navigated around the Act.

SW: Absolutely not, Tim. I’m saving that doozy of a tale for the readers of the Daily Dispatch.

[Closing Music – The Tim Ferriss Show]

I know we did major call backs in the last issue, but why create all new organic content when you can just piggy back off past successes? In Issue 4, we took a deep dive into the failed menu item McDonald’s Pizza. What we found was shocking and our lives were at risk. What if I told you it wasn’t the only chain restaurant story worth investigating? Though less dangerous and less sinister, the following story is more salacious and dramatic.

Issue 4: The Mysterious McPizza

You know Ben and Jerry’s. Who doesn’t? I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. You know Baskin and Robbins. Who doesn’t? Is it really that simple? I’d like you all to open your eyes: Ben Baskin and Jerry Robbins. Yep. Hiding in plain sight. I’ve primed you with talk of the Sherman Antitrust Act. And the answer is yes, that is the original reason for two ice cream shops, but the story is much, much deeper.

Chapter 1: “Sweet Beginnings”

In the world of ice cream, legends often start with a small scoop and a big dream. Our story begins in the quiet, picturesque town of Burlington, Vermont, where two friends, Ben and Jerry, stumbled upon their destiny while savoring a scoop of mint chocolate chip.

It was an ordinary day, like any other, when fate intervened. Ben Baskin, a young, aspiring ice cream enthusiast with a heart as big as his dreams, walked into his buddy Jerry Robbins’ modest ice cream parlor, aptly named “Jerry’s Scoops of Heaven.” Ben remembers thinking that was a dumb name. The bells above the door chimed and Ben shouted, “Med school didn’t work out?” in a joking voice. This moment marked the start of a partnership that would go on to change the frozen dessert industry forever.

Jerry, a perfectionist with an unerring knack for concocting creamy delights, believed in the magic of ice cream and held an unwavering commitment to creating unique, unparalleled flavors. It was in this little parlor, where the duo began to experiment with a myriad of ingredients, mixing and matching flavors with reckless abandon. From “Schweddy Balls” (A real Ben and Jerry’s flavor) to Karamel Sutra, their ice cream experiments became the talk of the town, and soon, the word spread like wildfire. People would line up for blocks just for a taste of their Schweddy Balls and other unconventionally named yet divine creations.

Ben and Jerry reveled in the sheer delight their creations brought to people’s lives. Their partnership blossomed, and it wasn’t long before they decided to take the leap. With youthful exuberance and an unshakable belief in their dream, they pooled their meager savings and transformed Jerry’s modest ice cream shop into something that would soon change the world. “Ben & Jerry’s” was born, a place where ice cream lovers could experience an unparalleled journey of flavors. 

As their ice cream empire grew, so did the bond between them. They became inseparable, two halves of a harmonious whole. Ben, with his infectious enthusiasm, served as the face of the business, spreading their message of joy and camaraderie. Jerry, the creative genius, continued to craft new flavors that pushed the boundaries of imagination.

The people flocked to Ben & Jerry’s not just for ice cream but for the unique experience it offered. The shop became a hub for the community, where people gathered to celebrate life’s moments, both big and small. All the while, Ben and Jerry were right there, connecting with their customers, hearing their stories, and making them feel like part of the family. They began opening store after store, pioneering the franchise model for ice cream.

But as Ben and Jerry’s ice cream empire grew, the specter of the Sherman Antitrust Act began to loom on the horizon. The law designed to prevent monopolies and preserve fair competition threatened to dismantle their sweet paradise. They were the only major player in the frozen treat game. Dippin’ dots was still far in the future, Mayfield was still figuring out how to pasteurize milk, and Bluebell’s founder was only 5 years old. They were the only big phish in the pond.

We’ve all been there. We’ve started a pint of ice cream only for our gluttony to take over and we finish that same pint in one sitting. Ben and Jerry suffered from that same gluttony, but monetarily. Unbeknownst to all, the two friends harbored a secret plan to avoid the Act’s scrutiny, a plan that would set in motion a chain of events that could only be described as audacious and bizarre. A double life, a web of deceit, and the birth of a new ice cream empire—Baskin Robbins.

In the chapters that follow, we’ll delve deeper into the plot and explore the thrilling twists and turns that culminated in Ben and Jerry’s audacious scheme to create an illusion of competition while preserving their ice cream legacy. The truth, as you’ll soon discover, is stranger than fiction.


Chapter 2: “Double Scoop Deception”

In the world of ice cream, where joy and sweetness reign, there existed a dark underbelly concealed beneath the surface of delightful scoops and sugary cones. Behind the scenes of “Ben & Jerry’s” and the recently launched “Baskin Robbins,” the once-innocent partnership had given birth to a conspiracy of epic proportions.

As the popularity of both ice cream empires soared, so did the duo’s wealth. They gave themselves over to their newfound affluence, luxuriating in extravagant lifestyles, far removed from their modest beginnings. Gone were the days of simple joys and humble dreams; the allure of money and power began to warp their once-innocent hearts.

Ben and Jerry’s love for ice cream began to wane, replaced by an insatiable hunger for success. Their obsession with wealth and control led them to seek what they could not have. Ben was the first to fall. The front man, the charmer, Ben became drawn to another of life’s sweet delights, the taste of the kiss of a forbidden lover. Though engaged to his high school sweetheart, Ben would often find himself in the company of another when on business trips.

One day, a fiery redhead with a cold heart set a spark that would burn the whole thing down. At this point, Ben’s hubris made him believe he was unbreakable. It was this apathy, this reckless abandon that caused him to give in. As Springsteen wisely said, “You can’t start a fire worryin’ about your little world fallin’ apart”. Ben was not worried. Ben believed himself immortal. A wise man once said, “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.” My father, a wiser man than I, recently told me “There is a difference between living on the leading edge and living on the bleeding edge.” If only Ben had met my father.

Here is an excerpt from Ben’s diary (writing about his fiance):

“She’s my number one, I don’t need nothing on the side. I said that I was done for good and don’t want no more lies. But my phone keeps blowing up, temptations on my line. I stare at the screen a while before I press decline. I’m only human, I know loving her is a crime. If I take this cookie now one day I’ll do the time.

I hate when I creep and the phone wakes me up. I fake like I’m asleep knowing damn well I be up. There’s a monkey on my back and I walk a hundred miles. Guilt makes me feel fake when she smiles. I wanna have my cake and another cake too even if the baker don’t bake like you even when the flavor don’t taste like you.

I know you’re all in your mind with fears that would come true. The whole time, in the back of my mind was you. I wish that I could blind myself from view and only have eyes for you.”

Powerful.

Jerry had no idea the metaphorical bomb was ticking. He, along with Ben, meticulously maintained the illusion of competition, orchestrating fake rivalries and faux marketing wars between the two brands. The public bought into their act, as they’d watch Ben and Jerry on television commercials, each claiming to outdo Baskin Robbins in the never-ending battle of ice cream supremacy.

Jerry was not innocent in all of this. He could tell his once close friend had become distant and distracted. He became angry that Ben was getting rich off his creative genius and was rarely at the office. Jerry started a third company, one only he knew about called 2MDB. It was inconspicuous enough to fly under the radar. Jerry would siphon funds from both companies here marking the expenses as “Materials: Bulk”. In his mind, it was a way to rightfully get paid what he deserved. 

Baskin Robbins and Ben & Jerry’s became symbols of corporate and personal greed, manipulation, and disloyalty. Their employees, unaware of the grand deception, continued to work diligently, believing in the ice cream dream that had brought them together in the first place.

But the deception had consequences. Each web of deceit grew with every lie and subterfuge, becoming increasingly more complex. Soon, Ben became reliant on a substance more stimulating than sugar and Jerry’s conspicuous consumption began to catch the eye of the IRS. 

In a compromised state of mind, fueled by the highs of pure white powder, lost in the throes of passion, Ben let slip the secret of Baskin Robbins to his lover Wendy. Like a Calico leaping from a Birkin, the cat was out of the bag. What comes next is a tale as old as time. 

In the final chapter of our narrative, we’ll explore the consequences of their actions and the inevitable fall from grace that awaited the once-beloved ice cream moguls. We will get to know Ben’s lover Wendy, better known as “Frosty” for her cold hearted approach to life, love, and the pursuit of power. The truth was closing in, and the grand deception was about to unravel in a spectacular fashion.

Chapter 3: “The Meltdown”

In the annals of corporate deceit and audacious conspiracies, there are few tales as bizarre and twisted as that of Ben and Jerry, the once-beloved ice cream moguls who, unbeknownst to the world, had led a double life.

You see, Wendy wasn’t just a pretty face, she had ambition. As is the case for many women in the world of chain restaurants, she wasn’t taken seriously by a male dominated industry. She had the brains, she had the business acumen, and now, thanks to Ben;s slip of the tongue, she had her golden ticket. 

Rumors had been circulating, whispers of the truth, and leaks from within their own empire. People began to connect the dots, I mean, it’s literally in their names. As inconsistencies in their dual personas began to emerge, the news media, sensing a sensational story, began to investigate the strange world of ice cream intrigue.

The government launched an intense investigation, and as the noose tightened, Ben and Jerry’s secret identities began to unravel. The evidence was overwhelming, a tangled web of financial records, business connections, and testimonies from employees who had unknowingly played a part in their elaborate scheme.

The once-innocent ice cream makers had become ensnared in their own duplicity. The world watched in shock as the two friends turned on each other, each blaming the other for the grand conspiracy. Their once-unbreakable bond had shattered, replaced by paranoia and self-preservation. To make matters worse, Wendy began weaponizing her knowledge of the truth against both Ben and Jerry. She had an idea for a sweet treat that wasn’t quite as solid as ice cream, but wasn’t quite as liquid as a milkshake. What she needed was the help of Jerry and his brilliant confectionate mind. She told him what she knew, but more importantly, she told him how she knew.

Wendy was the spark. What was the gasoline? Ben’s fiance, his high school sweetheart he had long neglected as he ran from lover to lover, was Jerry’s younger sister. Jerry had his suspicions, but Wendy’s confession finally broke Jerry. Like Sonny beating up Carlo in the Godfather, Jerry believed he knew what should happen to a man who broke his little sister’s heart. 

On February 25th 1992, Jerry attempted to murder Ben. It breaks my heart to write that sentence. Two friends, one dream. That is where we began. Fortunately, Ben survived the attack and Jerry was arrested. The IRS was already finalizing their case against Jerry for the shell company, but now the Sherman Antitrust Act was being triggered once the truth of Baskin Robbins emerged. 

It was in a dramatic courtroom showdown. The full scope of their double lives was exposed to the world. As the evidence was presented, the public gasped at the audacity of their plan, and the way two men were ruined by something so simple. The government’s case was airtight, the circumstantial evidence overwhelming.

The judge condemned the pair for their betrayal of the very industry that had once brought joy to millions. She delivered a verdict that shook the nation, ordering the immediate dismantling of both Ben & Jerry’s and Baskin Robbins. 

The fallout was swift and severe. The ice cream empires crumbled, employees lost their jobs, and loyal customers were left in shock. The revelation of the grand deception turned Ben and Jerry into pariahs, their once-beloved brands forever tainted by scandal.

As the dust settled, Ben and Jerry faced the harsh consequences of their actions. Fines and penalties mounted, and they found themselves stripped of their wealth, reduced to a fraction of their former selves. Ben’s fiance left and he was sent to rehab. Jerry was staring down the barrel of many years in prison. 

Clearly we still have both Ben and Jerry’s as well as Baskin Robbins. The two businesses were sold to pay for the destruction left in the wake of the two men for whom the businesses were named after. 

The world watched as the two friends, who had once stood for the simple joys of life and the camaraderie of shared ice cream, became symbols of greed, manipulation, and reckless behavior. Their fall from grace was a lesson in the corrupting nature of power and wealth.

The story of Ben and Jerry is a cautionary tale, a reminder that even the sweetest of dreams can turn bitter when driven by impure desires. Their audacious conspiracy had led to their ultimate downfall.

As we close the chapter on this incredible tale of double lives and corporate intrigue, we are left with a sobering lesson on the price of deceit and the enduring power of truth. In the world of ice cream, as in life, a meltdown can ruin everything. 

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