“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.”
What’s up my free thinkers and free spirits? Who has a vacation coming up? Who is exploring the world? Who is taking what they learn here and teaching it to others? Whether you like it or not, if you’re reading this, you’re a Dispatcher on the Daily. With that comes certain character traits you are expected to embody. Curiosity, intellectual honesty, and above all, integrity (looking at you Meg.) Here is an example of how I, your fearless leader, embodied all of those character traits. I have been asking for a specific office chair for years. Our office admin, Meg, has always said no. Enter curiosity. I was curious if rather than just requesting, what if I laid out a well thought out argument for why I deserved a nicer chair than my peers? Enter intellectual honesty. I wrote a well worded email that was full of truths about my work and selflessness in the office. She told me if I could get my notoriously stingy boss to approve the purchase (never going to happen) or a doctor’s note, she would get it for me. After agreeing all the points I made for deserving it were true, she said, “I just need a valid reason to get it.” So, what did I do? I began reaching out to medical professionals. I reached out to people who have studied hard, worked tirelessly, and cared much for people. I could have faked a note, sure. I’m a creative writer. It would have been easy. But I am a man of integrity. I’ve written a lot of issues about honesty. Honestly, it is important to live up to your word. The note was official. The note was thorough. The note had the phone number of the doctorate-carrying medical professional for validation. Despite all that, Meg has gone silent and has chosen to die on the hill, “It wasn’t on letterhead”. Which was never a condition that was required until the goalposts were moved.
Originally, I had told her I would keep our chair deal quiet. I knew if I successfully held up my side of the bargain, she would too because that is what honest, professional adults do. I didn’t want her to have to deal with backlash or repercussions for me getting a chair that was nicer than others. It was to go down without others knowing. Now, however, I believe it is more important to call out what I believe to be injustice rather than let it stand. I know this effectively buries my chances of getting the chair. We have entered the point of the negotiation where both parties will be digging in our heels and holding our ground. I’ve heard it said the art of negotiation is to let the other side have your way. I thought that is what I was doing. We agreed on the destination (a new chair) and I let her determine the path (doctor’s note). Then, once we traveled the well defined road, I was told there was an extra turn to make that I had apparently missed. Sure I could continue arguing. Sure I could label the emotions and defuse the situation. But I think it’s time to cut my losses. What is more important? Comfort or character? I choose character. Sometimes, character comes at a cost. I will pay it.
But enough about my woes. You come here for introspection, for stories, for humor.
I was having a conversation the other day with my buddies Josh and Brentwood Sam. We call Sam “Brentwood Sam” because he is from Brentwood, TN. (the wealthiest city in Tennessee and the 34th wealthiest city in America.) Being from Brentwood is a big part of who he is. While in conversation, Brentwood Sam dropped a line on us that brought the conversation to a screeching halt. He is known for spitting out quotes and tidbits with reckless abandon. He hit me with one the other day that I haven’t stopped thinking about. He called it a Sam original, “It never hurts to find out, unless what you find out hurts.” Powerful powerful stuff right there. That isn’t the quote I want to discuss today though. Back to the conversation I was having with Josh and Brentwood Sam. For the life of me, I don’t remember what exactly we were talking about. Great storytelling, I know. I just know we were having a conversation. For a moment of sincerity, I must say, I always enjoy the conversations when the three of us get together. I think travel and PTO usage were already being discussed, but then Brentwood Sam hit us with this, “Traveling is a humbling experience. When I went to Hawaii last year…” It got Josh and I going. Making jokes about how humbling it must have been to be flown off to a tropical vacation in Hawaii. Asking which was more humbling, the lei they put around your neck as you got off the plane or the fresh fruit smoothies you drank every morning? Things like that.
I do want to take a moment to pause here and say, all kidding aside, Brentwood Sam is a humble guy. He does, however, have his prideful moments. I think of multiple instances of him yelling throughout the office, “I’m a beast!” because he ran a simple margin report. It is shocking he isn’t more arrogant than these rare outbursts though. I mean, wouldn’t you be? What would you be like if your parents bought you a brand new Porsche for your sixteenth birthday?* Imagine if you grew up in one of the richest cities in the world, had a 10 PM curfew, but were told you had to be out of the neighboring city of Franklin by 9 PM (another one of the wealthiest cities in the world though the median income is about 30% less than Brentwood) because it is “the rough side of the tracks.”** Despite his upbringing, despite his peers often being entitled snobs, Brentwood Sam is not an arrogant man. He ended up making some good points about how travel really can be a humbling experience as he described not only his Hawaiian vacation, but also his trips to Greece and Aspen and Yellowstone and Sedona and the Florida Keys over the last year as well as his upcoming trip to Japan.
I wanted to judge, I really did. That is my nature. But Ted Lasso taught me something while playing darts in a pub in England. He discussed being curious rather than judgemental. I have heard it said, “You cannot judge a man until you have flown first class in his Gucci slides.” I asked Sam if I could borrow his to take a trip and be humbled. He refused my request because I would get my “poor Franklin stink” on them. But I am not easily discouraged. I am going to travel and be humbled and learn about the world. As you read this (assuming you all immediately open these upon receiving them, unless you’re Evan who has these in his spam apparently) I am doing my own version of traveling first class in another man’s Gucci slides. I am in my New Balances in economy class on my way to Colorado right now. Let’s see what the elevation has to teach me about humility? Elevation? More like smellevation haha suck it Colorado. You don’t intimidate me. Heck yeah I’m from Tennessee because I’m the only ten you’ll see in this state. (Also Niki. She’s a ten and she is on the flight with me. It just didn’t go with the joke.)
We are actually going to be spending most of our time with friends there. I don’t know if it will necessarily be humbling, but I do expect it to be a good time. Maybe just in forethinking the upcoming trip I’m humbled. Our main reason for this trip is to spend time with Niki’s close friends. I have written about some of my close friends before. Most of my close friends live in the same city as me. It is rare to have so many friends from college still nearby. I am humbled to think about how fortunate I am as we embark on a multi-hour trip to spend time with Niki’s close friends. I am also humbled because my friends are close enough to make fun of me on a consistent basis. They are always throwing these little jabs at me, “Seth, you’re too attractive to be relatable.” or “Seth, don’t you realize your writing is so popular that we tailor our interactions with you in hopes to be written about in your newsletter?” My crazy friends are always saying stuff like that.
***EDITOR’S NOTE***
This was supposed to be finished and sent while at the airport on Friday 5/24 however, the airport was crazy and I was exhausted. Everything from here on (with the exceptions of the footnotes) was written after the trip.
Well, we’re back from Colorado. The smellevation kinda kicked my butt. I wasn’t short for breath or anything, I’m an athlete. That said, my two week long cold got an extension and we are now on week three. The dryness and elevation apparently worked together to keep me under the weather. I am somewhat humbled. Sam was right all along.
We had a great time. Victor and Michelle were great hosts. If you are in Colorado (city left out for anonymity) then I highly recommend hitting them up. Maybe meet up at a tiki bar and ask Michelle to teach you a magic trick. We also got to spend a lot of time with their children who were so daggum sweet. I have a buddy who lives in New York and works for a large bank. He is always traveling and doing crazy cool things. We will talk on the phone and recap our lives. I often feel lame for boasting about my suburban life. He is always kind to tell me how great it actually seems. Spending time with Michelle and Victor, watching them be great parents and friends, grilling in the backyard, and hearing them check in with the babysitter while at dinner one night was a reminder of how great life can be in any path you choose. You would have a tough time convincing me they aren’t living life to the fullest even as they listen to “Hot Dog” by Mickey Mouse in the car for the hundredth time. They are great people, fun friends, and the kind of parents Niki and I want to learn from when we become parents one day. I am once again humbled.
But was that enough? Am I humble now? Let’s be honest, probably not.
I need to travel more. I need to see more of the world and be challenged. Brentwood Sam mentioned one of the ways traveling is humbling to him is the beauty of creation which I saw in Colorado, but he also mentioned how all over the world people are living their daily lives and when we travel we get to be small pieces of someone’s normal day. It is a humbling thing to think about all the life that is being lived that we will never know about. So, in the words of Cinderella, “I want to be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see ’em dancin’.” Where are the people? New York City!! That’s right, next weekend Niki and I are hitting up the big apple. Bing bong baby. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of. We will be visiting my brother Cole and my sister-in-law RJ (Happy early birthday RJ!) Don’t worry too much about them though. Remember, this trip is about my humility. That is the main thing to focus on.
To prove my ongoing journey of humility, I will open the suggestion box for the first time in a while. It led to many great issue ideas in the past. Submit something you would like to see written about and if the idea isn’t absolute garbage, I’ll write about it! If I don’t write about it, it is safe to assume it was a truly terrible suggestion and you should rethink what you view as interesting.
*I am not saying his parents bought him a Porsche at 16. It was a hypothetical scenario. For Sam’s family’s lawyer, you cannot bring charges of libel or slander as nothing was explicitly said about Sam here.
** I am also not saying this was the case for Sam. I simply encouraged my readers to imagine a random and unrelated scenario. This is also not about Sam. There is no explicit or implicit degradation of Sam’s name, image, or family name. I am protected by our Constitution. Don’t test me.
