Issue 20: Embrace The Struggle

Arrange the pegs, so the position 1 is left open at the bottom. Now, Imagine you are looking at a boat. An orca has just rammed into this super yacht and it is sinking. Immediately the crew begin to run down to the bottom to start trying to get the water out of the boat. 

Move peg 4 to position 1.

Move peg 6 to position 4.

Move peg 1 to position 6.

This is the movement of the crew frantically working downstairs. Not everyone is ready to take action. Fearing a long, drawn out death, some passengers leap into the sea. 

Now move peg 7 to position 2.

Move peg 10 to position 3.

The captain of the ship, peg 13, decides he must save as many peg people as he can and starts making his way around the boat.

Move peg 13 to 4.

Move peg 13 (Now peg 4) to 1.

Now that peg 13 has moved to 4 then to 1, finally move it from 1 to 6.

The captain has saved a few people. At this point there isn’t much more to the story, you just kinda finish it…

Move peg11 to 13.

Move peg14 to 12.

Move peg 6 to 13.

Now take the peg in 12 and move it to 14.

You’ve done it!

Thank you Cracker Barrel for sponsoring this week’s issue! Cracker Barrel: Have you ever wondered what would happen if a chicken fried a steak? Or, for you extra twisted sickos, if a chicken fried a chicken? Have you ever been sitting around at 10 AM thinking, “I wish I could consume more than my daily caloric intake right now so I can just nap the rest of the day.”? Well, come on down to Cracker Barrel! Cracker Barrel – We have alcohol now. 

I hate being bad at things. I’m fortunate enough to be a 6’4 super athlete who is also a certified genius (according to online MENSA practice tests). If I’m being honest, I don’t just hate being bad at things, I hate not being the best at things. Unfortunately, I not only want to be the best, but I want to be the best immediately. I want to be a virtuoso. I want to be to anything as I am to newsletter writing: a prodigy. 

This is not often the case. 

Life is a give and take. I often find myself improving in some areas, yet can’t help but fixate on where I fall short. For example, I moved to the third floor of our office (this is where I temporarily drop the ongoing facade of having multiple Daily Dispatch offices) but in moving up a floor, I have lost 3 of 3 ping pong games played. Long term readers have heard tales of my dominance on the tables. I can’t sleep at night. I hear a little plastic ball bouncing back and forth in my head. It taunts me and haunts me.

Local News: The Cho’s Bros (though missing Cho this season) soccer team is currently ranked second in our division and coming off a 10-2 victory. As a reminder, we dominated the division, won the championship 2 seasons ago, were promoted, and then became the victims of a conspiracy to hold us down last season. During our championship season, I was clearly the best goalie in our division. This has not always been the case. For another moment of honesty, I am not actually a 6’4 super athlete. I am only a 5’10 super athlete. 

If you want the truth, if you think you can handle the truth, if you believe in the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then I’ll tell you the real story. The real story goes back to Issue 8 of the Daily Dispatch titled, “Your Life as an Excel Spreadsheet.” This issue focused on a low point in my life and my journey to fix it. 

To quote that issue, “I mentioned earlier I sunk a lot of hours into “If I” statements and skills. In 2018 I had a ton of time on my hands. I was single. I lived alone. I was totally a catch. 

“If I could just get my life together.” 

This “If I” became how I spent my time. How do you begin that journey? It’s a little more complex than “If I learn how to double lift playing cards for magic…” 

I wrestled with this question for a while. Then I had a breakthrough; or possibly a breakdown. What if I could become measurable and able to be analyzed with numbers and charts in Excel? Then I could better identify, quantify, and remedy the problem. I started exploring the idea of quantifying my level of personhood. I decided to develop a weekly point system for my life. This way there is a number assigned to my quality. A number can be analyzed and improved on. How do you score a person? Let’s start by defining who I am and what I do. 8 categories, 5 points per category to be totalled every Sunday night for a max score of 40.” 

At this same time, I decided to try to do things I was bad at, and do them in front of people. I knew I needed a little humility in my life. As if hearing my internal musings, a friend of mine asked me to join his soccer team. I did not play soccer growing up. I had no skills whatsoever that would have helped me even pretend to be good at soccer. I accepted. Honestly, I should have put it on the scorecard. Slowly, very slowly, but surely I began to improve as a goalie. I learned more about the flow of the game. I learned when to be aggressive and when to sit back. I learned more about positioning and calling things out for my team to see. I became, in all honesty, the best goalie in our division. Then we moved up. Last week, it became clear to me I am not the best goalie in this new division. While this sort of thing would normally bother me, it felt exciting. I saw what I could become and am determined to improve. 

I recently stumbled on a great New York Times article from 2012 about learning tennis later in life. You all know I rarely acknowledge the existence of lower tier news sources than this one, but I found this article eminently relatable as I continue to learn a new set of skills as an adult. No matter the craft, the desire to “get better at something” — even well into adulthood — is universal. 

To quote the article, “I wanted to do something difficult. That was why I wanted to try tennis. I had been good at things. I was still good at things. I didn’t need a hobby, or a way to meet people. I wanted to get better at something; it had been a long time since I’d sensed that. I wanted to learn something that I would not be learning by reading; I had been reading all of my life, had spent the better part of four decades reading for a living. I wanted, one last time, to struggle at something I could control because the last real struggles were going to be ones I could not.”

That last sentence really stuck with me. 

Few things in life are as existentially rewarding as learning something new or getting better at something — just for yourself. Not for the sake of competition (though, like soccer, that can be part of it), not for the sake of starting a side hustle, not for social media views. Just for you.

What started as an exercise in humility became a reminder of the reward of trying, failing, trying again, and improving. It’s kind of like when you play a video game. Sure, for a time it can be fun to play on easy mode and dominate, but that gets old quickly. The real fun begins when the difficulty is turned up and you struggle before eventually succeeding. 

I’m aware that this is a similar topic to Issue 8, but it’s worth reminding: Find a thing. Work at it. Embrace the struggle.