Issue 42: Secret Skills

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

T.S. Eliot

Good morning,

What do you do for work? Maybe you’re a pediatrician or a general contractor or a train conductor. Are you currently working in the profession you’ve always wanted to work in or feel most equipped to work in? Maybe you’ve always wanted to be an architect or a marine biologist or an importer-exporter. This question is not new, nor is this the first time it’s been discussed on the Daily Dispatch. For a publication originally founded on satire, we spend a lot of time analyzing purpose. In Issue 24 about analyzing self-worth, we stated, “When we first meet people, what do we typically ask? “What is your name?” andWhat do you do?” I don’t know about you, but what I do is not the second most important thing about me. It is far from one of the most defining characteristics of who I am as a man. If I were to quit my job tomorrow, I would still be Seth Winton. Nothing internal would change. Give it a little bit and I may no longer be Seth Winton – home owner, but my identity would remain.” In Issue 10 we discussed what you want to be when you grow up, “…In fact, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” changed many times over my life. If you had asked me in first grade, I would have said a clown, because clowns make people happy and make them laugh. If you had asked me in second grade, I would have said an electrical engineer because my buddy Brady and I were going to start an engineering firm together called “BS Engineering”. I’ve wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an NBA player, a football coach, a stand up comedian, and an entrepreneur. I’ve even wanted to be someone who could spell “entrepreneur” without spell check.”

Why bring this up? Is it just to promote previous issues? Absolutely. It also futhers the point I’m trying to make so double whammy! I currently work in logistics. It’s a career path I never intended on going into growing up. It wasn’t the plan in college. I took a job because I needed one right out of school and one thing led to another and here I am 6 years in. To my boss who reads this newsletter, I am very thankful for my job and totally don’t have bigger dreams so it’s all good homie! That said, I often wonder how good or bad or passionate I’d be in other careers. Even within logistics, within the company I currently work for, I’ve had multiple different roles in multiple different fields of logistics. There are some aspects of logistics, and specifically the role I’m in now, that I really enjoy. I never would have guessed I’d enjoy a role centered around teaching, but I really do. However, it’s in moments of pondering where I begin to wonder what else I would love or be good at had I stumbled into them rather than logistics. For example, I wonder if, just below the surface, there is a great chef within me who, with proper guidance, would flourish and take over the culinary world. Maybe, less grandiose, I wouldn’t “take over the culinary world”, but have a career I’m deeply invested in and good at. I may never know. Being a chef may also be something I’m terrible at and would hate, the point is, I’ll likely never know. 

What if you, dear reader, are one college visit to Texas A&M away from life as an agricultural farmer who loves life tending to huge fields with scientific precision? What if you, witty coworker, are a few open mics and a move to New York away from being the next Jerry Seinfeld? Are you, Instagram story clicker, an elite sports agent in hiding? We will likely never know. Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who found the center of the venn-diagram between skill and passion. You live at the crossroads of should and must. If you feel this is you, I consider you one of the lucky ones. Or maybe you aren’t lucky, but rather someone who is self aware enough to know what you want and determined enough to chase it. 

This actually leads us well to this weeks’ sponsor: LinkedIn recruiters who clearly didn’t read your profile, but just sent you a form message. Lazy LinkedIn recruiters: “You would be perfect for this role you had 4 years ago and were promoted from. Message me if interested!” LinkedIn recruiters, “Want to move across the country for the same job you have now at a worse company?” Use response, “No thank you.” for 0% off the amount of InMail you’ll receive. They will find you one way or another. 

As stated at the beginning of this, you are more than your career. This thought process often leads me to hobbies as well. There are things I’ve never tried. I watch the Westminster dog show every year, what if I have a deep skill and hidden passion for training dogs? I’ll never really know. I don’t think I have that skill by the way. I tried to teach my dog Hazel how to “shake” but she ended up just kinda hitting my hand away. Niki wisely changed this command to “high five” which is more fun anyways. I was talked into being a DJ once and ended up DJing many weddings. It’s a skillset I never thought I had but stumbled upon. I wonder if I had stumbled into alpine skiing at a young age if I’d be training for the Olympics right now? Really makes you think. Ok fine. This is not an issue about training dogs or being an Olympian or becoming a chef because I recently watched The Bear. The truth is, I recently had a conversation over lunch with some coworkers about crime and getting away with money laundering and the purchase and sale of illegal goods. My parents, grandparents, and even a few pastors read this newsletter, but the truth is, deep down, I truly believe had I not had my parents’ guidance, had I not had a faith that established a deeply rooted moral compass, I honestly believe I would have been a great criminal. 

I have always had a seed of, “what can I get away with?” or “what are the rules, really?” As the wise man once said, “If you aren’t living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.” Here’s the problem, that seed has never been able to grow due to me honoring my parents guidance and respecting them like a freaking nerd. Sure I got in trouble, often, but always within reason. The seed has always been there, though. I tried to become the world’s youngest loan shark when I was around 9 years old. My younger brother, Cole, would often spend his birthday or Christmas money while I would save mine. When we were around 9 years old and 6 years old, respectively, he asked to borrow $50 so he could “know what it felt like to have $50.” I lent him the money on the condition that he paid me $5 every Friday while he had the money and then returned the original $50 when he was done “knowing what it felt like.” A couple weeks in, he asked our dad to borrow $5 for his weekly payment. My dad then asked what in the world a 6 year old was making weekly payments for. Cole explained the situation. Our dad said he didn’t have to pay me $5. At that time, Cole presented our dad with the crayon-scribbled contract I had written up and he had signed. The skillset has always been there. I would also wrap quarters in that gold foil you got from Rolos and tell Cole they were gold coins and sell them to him for 50 cents. This honestly may be a negative on my crime resume as I way undervalued that scam. Cole, I’m sorry I was a bad older brother. This is not an exhaustive list of the scams I pulled on him.

I will say, another potential hindrance to my life of crime is my seemingly guilty looking face or general aura. I enjoy the occasional game of Mafia or Secret Hitler. When playing Mafia, I am almost always the narrator as I am a storyteller at heart. During the rare opportunities I have to be a participant, I am usually voted off within the first round or two, regardless of any suspicious behavior, because I just seem like I might be up to something. The same goes for the game Secret Hitler. I have to work extra hard to appear innocent. I take it as a compliment though. I’ve got that look in my eye of someone who could pull off a good ruse or grift or scheme. 

What is your skill you’ve never pursued? Spend some time this week asking, “Why not me?” when you see someone doing something you’ve never thought to try. Why be jealous of someone else’s life when you may be one attempt away from having a more enviable skill? Why covet someone else’s possessions when you could con them out of them? No. Don’t do that. Crime is bad. Why ask someone to do something for you when you could learn to do it yourself? The point is, you never know until you try. Maybe that’s the point… I have kind of lost the thread of this week’s issue. What is the perfect bow to put on this? Um… oh yeah, “Why not you?” I mean, you and a surprisingly high number of people like you and not like you at all are all reading this right now. You are probably wondering why you’re wasting your time on this. You are not alone in that thought. But you’re reading it, and hopefully enjoying it, because someone tried something they didn’t know if they’d be good at or not. Why not you? 

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